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An excerpt from the book MultiFaceted and Fabulous: Turning Women Under Pressure into Priceless Diamonds by Ronda Fisher Chapter 1
Women and Diamonds
By Ronda Fisher
Diamonds are considered to be one of the most desired objects in the entire world. There is nothing that can compare to all the splendor of this lone simple rock. They are loved for their brilliance, luster and sparkle. Diamonds have been responsible for shaping nations as well as causing war and are possessed with pride by royalty as well as those of marginal means. It is for this reason that women and diamonds have a lot in common.
Diamonds are MultiFaceted…So Are You!!
How many times have you tried to do more than one thing at a time? Can you picture it now? You are cooking dinner in the kitchen while your 3rd grader is doing homework at the kitchen table and asking you for help with each spelling sentence. The phone rings and someone wants to sell you a great deal on carpet cleaning, (And who couldn’t use that?!) while your neighbor is knocking on the front door because your dog escaped from the back yard. Your toddler bumps his head on the coffee table and needs comforting when the dinner starts to burn. After getting all the “fires” put out, your husband comes home from work and announces that he is starving and wonders why dinner is running late! Sound somewhat familiar?
You are an amazing woman with many talents and gifts and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. It’s true that we all have different “specialties”, but we are all good at many things.
Think of the many hats that you wear on a weekly basis. May I suggest a few? Friend, wife, mother, daughter, sister, chief driver, head cook, counselor, nurse, event planner, personal assistant, housekeeper, seductress, cheerleader, referee, bread winner, accountant, advisor, veterinarian, team mom, room parent, and the list goes on.
No matter what hat you wear at any given moment, you are called upon to perform many different kinds of tasks. Look at a diamond and try to picture it as a square with only four sides. It would dramatically lose its beauty, wouldn’t it? One reason diamonds are so beautiful is because they are multifaceted. A facet is defined as one side of something many-sided. There are many different sides and angles to a good diamond, which reflect the light in different directions. Without these many sides, a diamond would be missing a key characteristic that gives it its value and beauty. You are multifaceted which gives you value and beauty as well.Being multifaceted sometimes means we are doing more than we ought. Challenges often manifest themselves when we are feeling overwhelmed with things we need to get done. Instead of getting frustrated by how much you have to do, be grateful that you have the opportunity to do many different things. This doesn’t mean that you should volunteer for everything. That would be crazy! But for now, seize the opportunities to be multifaceted and take pleasure in the fact that you are a woman and you have been called upon to be multifaceted.
Diamonds Become Diamonds from Intense Pressure…So Do You!!
When I was pregnant with my third child, she would press her legs and arms and whatever else was close, into my ribs. It was quite painful. She would press and press until it made it difficult to breathe and I would have to move around quite drastically to force her into a different position. I felt the pressure and I didn’t like it at all. However, I was excited about the life that was forming inside of me and was going to endure whatever I needed to make sure that she was healthy and thriving inside of me.
Pressure in life is very much the same. We don’t like the pressure of challenges as they present themselves to us, but if we look them square in the face and attack them with diligence, we are often better because of them. Think of a time in your life, where you didn’t like the issue that you were faced with, but after you made it through, you saw some benefit come out of it. Were you stronger? Wiser? More compassionate? Able to help others better? More confident? Obstacles become opportunities when we look at them with a healthy perspective.
My husband was a professional waterskier. He loves waterskiing and has competed since he was very young. He has 6 National gold medals to his credit and many more waterskiing accomplishments to his name. His goal, however, was to compete with the best at the world level. In August of 2004, he was selected to compete at the Pan American Championships in Peru as part of the US Senior Waterski Team.
He trained all winter and during his last ski ride with his coach before the competition, he took a horrific crash that nearly ended his waterskiing career. The doctors said he would be lucky to walk again. He shattered his calcanious (heel bone), seriously sprained both ankles, and suffered large gashes on his leg. However, this gave him more determination than ever to recover and return to the world of competitive waterskiing. Consequently, three years later, he suffered another serious accident, and tore his ACL, PCL, MCL, and meniscus in his left knee. This was definitely another setback on his road to recovery.
After years of pain, wheelchairs, crutches, physical therapy, shattered dreams, depression, determination and lots of patience, Forest was not only able to walk again, but has been able to return to the world of competitive waterskiing. Four years after the initial accident, because he was able to focus on the goal and not the setback, he was able to compete at the Senior World Championships in Sesena, Spain where he won the bronze medal.
Did we learn from this experience? You bet we did! We learned to turn obstacles into opportunities. As a couple, we felt we were in the “advanced” life lessons class now because we were able to use lessons we learned from the first accident and continue the learning process to come out even further ahead during the second accident.
Going through the hardship of two major accidents helped us realize our marriage was in serious trouble and we began rebuilding our relationship one step at a time. Was it easy? Definitely not! In fact, I would never wish it upon anyone, but I am definitely grateful for the experience because of how much we grew through the whole process. We grew closer to each other, to the Lord, to our families, and to our friends. Many of the lessons shared in this book are a result of what I have learned from this experience and my own journey to recovery.
Diamonds Shine When They are Polished…So Do You!!
When a diamond is cleaned and polished, the brilliance of that diamond is unbelievable! After Forest and I were engaged, I was constantly cleaning and polishing my diamond ring. I loved looking at it shine and wanted everyone else to notice it too. Ever notice how people “shine” after you give them a sincere compliment? Most people can’t help but smile when you tell them they did a good job at something or that the color of their blouse makes their eyes sparkle. Everyone loves positive strokes and it can have a positive affect on the rest of their day.
Compliments are not the only way to help someone shine. I love the book, “The Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman. In the book, he talks about 5 different ways that people send and receive love. People send and receive love through acts of service, words of encouragement, physical touch, gift giving, and quality time. This made a huge difference in my relationship with Forest as we are both very different. I shine by receiving words of encouragement. That means that I can do the dirtiest job ever, but if someone is applauding me for it and telling me I’m doing a great job, I’ll get it done. I’ll do whatever it takes as long as I am receiving encouragement. I show my love best by doing acts of service for others. I love serving and helping others. At first, I thought everyone was like me so I would shower Forest with compliments and acts of service.
Forest on the other hand receives love by quality time. We were at an impasse until we began to understand how differently we were made. I would work so hard to show him that I loved him by being busy, busy, busy all the time. He would ask me to come sit by him and I would react negatively with “How in the world can he expect me to have time to sit by him while trying to finish cooking dinner, cleaning the house, getting his laundry done, walking the dog so he doesn’t have to, etc?” The whole time I was sitting next to him, I would be complaining about how much I had to do and planning my next strategy to get everything done. All the while, he began resenting me because he felt I didn’t want to be with him. That was far from the truth. I wanted to do everything for him because that was how I was trying to love him. We were definitely not on the same page!
After learning about the different love languages and realizing that we have very different languages, we began to understand each other better. I learned that my need to serve him was only feeding my own need and not his. He needed me to sit beside him and just BE with him. He learned to compliment me on all the work that I was able to do which made me want to be with him more. We came to a place where our needs were finally getting met because we understood about how to polish each other more. We came to understand each other better and develop a win-win situation. The results were amazing!!
Learn what language polishes those around you.
All Diamonds are Different…So Are You!
Imagine if everyone wore the same thing everyday and had the same exact hair style. That is nearly impossible since we were made with different kinds of hair and different opinions of style and fashion. What a relief!! Diamonds are also very different. Each stone has specific characteristics that make it unlike any other. I went to a party once where someone was wearing the same dress that I was. I loved this person and I loved the dress, but the thought of both of us wearing it to the same event was not a pleasant one. I had trouble wearing the dress after that because I wanted to be different. I didn’t want to be the same as everyone else.
Most people have their own unique style or way of doing something. It’s okay to copy someone’s ideas, not their style. Make sure your style fits who you are. In one of my speech classes, several of us were given the exact same material to memorize and present to the class. I was amazed at how different the presentations turned out to be based on the individual’s style and personality. It was very refreshing! Create your own style and don’t be afraid to be unique.
Diamonds Have Value…So Do You!
Diamonds are rare and precious gems. This makes them worth a lot of money. There is a reason you don’t see real diamonds embedded into clothing for that jeweled look or see people wearing large diamond accessories to run errands. Diamonds are very valuable and are used for special occasions and purposes.
Similarly, YOU are a rare and precious gem; a woman of value. God has given you a unique fingerprint in this life that leaves its mark on society. You are valued, appreciated, and loved. It certainly doesn’t mean we always FEEL valued, appreciated and loved, but later on in this book, I will give you some tools to help with that.
The first step to feeling valuable is to know in your heart that you are created uniquely by God himself, you have special talents and abilities. There is no one else exactly like you, and you, and only YOU, can walk in your shoes. That makes you pretty special, doesn’t it?!
How would you handle a true diamond necklace compared to a necklace made of costume jewelry? Very differently I would think!! When you know in your heart that you are valuable, people tend to treat you as a woman of value because of how you feel about
yourself. You have more confidence in what you do, you aren’t easily swayed by the opinions of others, and you feel better about yourself and your abilities.
Similarly, every instrument in an orchestra is valuable to the overall sound of the group. An orchestra is made up of many different instruments. Each instrument is designed to contribute a different sound to the overall harmony of the entire group. The result is simply amazing!! Listening to a well-organized orchestra is an experience that can take your breath away. It is the magic of the individual instruments working together to create the perfect harmony. You are part of the orchestra of people that make up your family, your network of friends, your community, and ultimately, the world. So, use your unique gifts and talents and make a difference. I may not know who you are, but I do know that your life has purpose and you are loved by God Himself.
Diamonds are Strong and Durable…So Are You!
Diamonds are one of the hardest substances on earth. In fact, atoms contained in the carbon composition of a diamond are compressed together very tightly, even tighter than that of graphite, making it the hardest mineral man has ever discovered. Surprisingly enough, they are 10 times stronger than steel and can only be scratched by using another diamond. Diamonds are formed under extremely high pressure, which is perhaps what makes them so hard.
This strength can also be compared to a woman. She may possibly be the strongest force in life. She not only has life, she brings life to the world from within herself. Her durability and resilience can be compared to that of a precious gemstone.
We all have our own strengths and weaknesses and it is so impressive to see someone using their strengths to the fullest potential. Use your strengths to help others, to feel good about yourself, to help your family, to grow personally, to earn money, or whatever it is that you are good at. Leave the things that you aren’t good at, for someone else who has those strengths. We have often been told to work on our weaknesses. What do we end up with if we work on our weaknesses? Strong weaknesses! Everyone has a function and a place in this world. Find your niche and go for it!
Think of how the body functions. It is made up of many parts, but works as one complete body performing a myriad of different functions. Imagine how dysfunctional our body we would be if the hand says, “I want to be a foot.” What if our lungs got upset about being in charge of breathing and wanted to function as the stomach. Or if our heart was tired of pumping blood through the body and wanted to be responsible for our sense of smell? If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? And if the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? Each part was designed for a specific function and is excellent at that particular function. You, also, were designed with gifts and talents and are expected to use those for the greater good of mankind.
Discover your strengths. Use them. Shine because of them. And then delegate the things that aren’t your specialty.
When I decided to retire from teaching to stay home with my kids, I decided to start my own business. An infomercial caught my eye that suggested you could make a lot of money from home working on your own terms. That sounded great to me so I signed up. About a year into my business, I had my training, my certification, my logo, my stationary, and my prospects. However, this business was in the financial industry and I hated working with numbers, let alone with finances. What had I gotten myself into? I was too stubborn to give up on it right away and was determined to make it work. The harder I tried, the more I hated it. This turned out to be a weakness that I was working on very diligently, but it was still a weakness.
It took a few years for me to realize I could get paid for doing something that I loved and was really good at. I love to teach and write. I took note of the lessons I learned through that first entrepreneurial experience and started down a path using my strengths as a teacher and author. I love what I do. I love teaching and I love being a mom. I love inspiring women to become their greatest and to give them hope for a better tomorrow. And I love motivating women to find the diamond inside themselves! Nothing can get better than that!
Find your strengths and use them as an asset!!
The purpose of this book is to inspire women to look at everything that makes up their life and realize that there is a diamond forming inside of them. As nurturers by nature, many women give everything they’ve got in caring for others, whether it be as a daughter, wife, mother, friend, teacher, nurse, or care-giver.
This book is designed to put the Fabulous back into the lives of women who want to feel significant and valued in today’s society. It is intended to challenge, inspire, and motivate women to discover their true potential and shine like diamonds.